


In a world that we design

by flightinflame



Series: Marble and Mirrors [2]
Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Circus, Alternate Universe - Regency, Alternate Universe - Still Have Powers, Angst with a Happy Ending, Developing Friendships, Fluff and Angst, Freak Show, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Mutant Powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:28:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26543704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flightinflame/pseuds/flightinflame
Summary: Doug regrets letting John take him to see the circus. He knows he should be excited to be invited anywhere, but seeing the mutants in cages hurts his heart. A box in the corner catches his eye, and he finds the strange figure inside half starved. When he manages to speak to them,  he realises he has to do something.
Relationships: Douglas Ramsey/Warlock (New Mutants), John Allerdyce/Bobby Drake, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Marble and Mirrors [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1916608
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	In a world that we design

**Author's Note:**

  * For [likeabomb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/likeabomb/gifts).



> This is entirely likeabomb's fault, and he should be proud of himself.   
> Title from "A Million Dreams" from The Greatest Showman.

**Four Years Ago:**  
“Come on, Doug,” John grabbed for his arm, pulling him along. “You’ve got to come. You don’t want to be the only boy at school who doesn’t see them.”

Doug bit his lip so he didn't argue. The truth was, he didn't want to go - he couldn't really picture anything worse than going to stare at the circus freaks. He always felt sorry for anyone who was hurt, and from what he'd heard... it wasn't a good place. But John and Bobby asking him to accompany them anywhere was exciting. He didn't really have many friends at school - not other than when there was Latin homework due, and suddenly he was everyone's favourite friend. But the rest of the time he felt pretty much alone.

His own reluctance to go to the circus might stop him from ever having any friends, and his father had told him he needed to try to get on with the other boys. If Doug was to pursue his dream of being an ambassador, he had to be well educated, and well-connected. His talent for languages alone wasn't going to be enough.

"Look, we can get some peanuts or something?" Bobby suggested. "And if you're scared, you don't have to get too close to the monsters. Promise."

Bobby was a nice young man, the kind of man that Doug wanted to be friends with. If he hadn't been the firm companion of John, he would have been perfect. As it was, Doug sighed but relented. "Semper prorsum.”

“We will leave you there if you keep speaking Latin,” John warned goodnaturedly. “I swear you’re some kind of freak.”

Douglas glared, but followed the other boys along the road, up to where the Circus of Wonders had been settled for the last week and a half. It didn’t feel like the magical welcoming place the other boys had spoken of. It frightened him. Half-starved mutants in cages, their eyes dull.

He kept his head down, trying not to look, even as John leaned in to poke and prod through the bars.

It didn’t feel right. He knew mutants were dangerous, but… this wasn’t right. He wrapped his arms around himself, wanting to hide, to disappear from it all.

John stared at a blue-haired figure, and it snarled. Bobby jumped, almost crashing into the cage behind, and a half-feral man jumped forwards, attempting to slash at the air with his hands bound. Sharp blades emerged, and he took another swipe towards Bobby.

John glared, and a flame from a nearby lamp flickered dangerously close, making the man back away, and Bobby crossed his arms. “John, don’t.”

“He tried to hurt you.” John sighed. “Come on. The really weird ones are further in.”

***

_Self cold. Self weak, lifeglow fading. Self has hunger. Self is hunger. Self is fear. Searching for organic matter. Immediate enclosure composed of inorganic bars and stale organic plantlife. Is of no use to self. Critical cognitive elements failing. Require fuel. Self alone._

***

Doug regretted deciding to come with the rest of them on this little trip. It didn't seem like a good place, and no amount of temporary popularity would chase away the haunting memories of the fear he could see in the eyes of the captured mutants.

John leaned in closer to get a look at one particular cage, one that Doug had thought was empty. He realised that the floor was a mass of writhing darkness, moving and threaded through with gold. He could hear the creature - whatever it was - talking. 

_Self has hunger. Require fuel. Self alone._ There was such sorrow in that voice, that he longed to help. He had no idea what he could do, only knew that he couldn't leave them there.

"That boy's got a tail-" John was saying, already moving on to the next cage, but as Doug remained, he saw a white eye break out on the surface of the darkness, emerging on a stalk. The thing, whatever it was, was looking straight at him.

He looked back, his heart racing at being caught, although there was no one that nearby. The ringmaster was demonstrating some of the mutants' abilities, talking about the way the man with claws healed from any injury. John tried to tug Bobby over, although Bobby didn't really look like he wanted to go.

Doug ignored his friends slipping away, crouching down beside the cage and staring back at that strange eye. "Hello."

"Self requires fuel."

"Alright," Doug hesitated. "I have some toffees in my pocket-"

"Self requires fresh organic matter." The strange thing now had a second eye on another mismatched stalk, and Doug tried not to stare at them as he considered.

"What kind of matter?"

"Self requires fresh organic matter."

Doug hesitated, then scuffed his shoe on the ground. He knew it would ruin the polish, but after a moment he found what he was looking for - a worm, crawling in the dirt. Feeling a little sick, he picked it up in his handkerchief. "This any good?"

"Self... requires fuel. That is fuel. Thanks to selfriend."

Doug passed it over, watching in wonder as the being touched it, and it took on a metallic appearance, fading even as the creature grew stronger. "Are you alright? Is there anything else I can do?"

"Selfriend would help self?"

"I'll be your friend, sure." Doug answered, trying to not let his thoughts linger on how short-lived this would be. He didn't like it here. He knew that Bobby and John were having a great time, that the other boys had laughed and joked about it for days. But something about it made his skin crawl. But he wasn't going to be able to stop what was happening. He wanted to try, but he didn't know how, and he felt very useless indeed.

"Selfriend is leaking?" Came the concerned voice, and glancing in the cage he found that the mess of black thread had tangled into a person. Or at least something which was trying very hard to be a person, and had a vague idea of what a person was meant to look like.

He blinked back tears, and shook his head.

***

_Self not alone. Self has selfriend. Self has had fuel. Selfriend is showing signs of leak. This is suboptimal._

***

"I'm fine," Doug answered. "I just... I'm worried. This isn't a nice place."

"Self made selfriend sad?"

"No." Doug answered, feeling a little sick at how kind this creature-person was. "You did wonderfully. What is your name?"

"Self is called Warlock. What is selfriend's name?"

"Doug," Doug answered, and he knew he was playing a foolish dangerous game, but he had to try. 

"Doug, where are you?" John's voice cut through the air, and Doug made a decision, doing something that was terrifying, something he never would have dreamed he would do when he had gotten up from bed this morning. He knew how to scale a tree to slip out from his room after lights out, and it wasn't far from the school to where the circus had set up. 

"I'll come back for you this evening. I promise."

"Self will wait for selfriend!" Warlock answered, and Doug smiled faintly even though he felt afraid.

"That's good. You stay safe, Warlock," Doug whispered, just as John arrived, reaching out and grabbing his arm.

"I thought we'd lost you," John muttered. "Come on, we should probably go."

"What's wrong?"

"Bobby doesn't like it." John snorted. "I think he's scared." John paused, gazing down at Warlock, who shrank in on itself. "What in hell's name is that?" He went to poke in the cage, then seemed to think better of it, glaring down at Warlock who seemed to cringe. "Wait there, I'll go get Bobby, maybe this'll cheer him up." John grinned, wandering off. "You won't believe what Doug's found in a cage I thought was empty."

"Selfriend?" Warlock asked, and Doug thought that Warlock sounded just as uncertain as he felt.

"It's going to be alright," Doug whispered. "Promise." 

He couldn't watch as John pulled Bobby close to the cage and tried to poke at Warlock, to get the strange creature to do something more entertaining than just huddle in a corner in fear.

Luckily, it wasn't long before Bobby walked over to him, munching on a packet of peanuts that he had acquired from somewhere. He offered them to Doug, and Doug took a handful, snacking on them as they walked around.

"We should head back," Doug checked his pocket watch carefully. "We're running late."

"The two of you are so boring," John muttered, but he hurried his pace, walking with them towards the school before their absence for too long was noticed. As they hurried along, Bobby and John discussed what they had seen.

"Some of them have to be fake," John was arguing. "I don't care how rich this Stryker guy is, he can't have gathered that many mutants."

"They looked real," Bobby shrugged. "And they were fashionable, once..."

Doug tried not to listen. He didn't like to think of it - he knew there'd been a time when having a mutant in your household was almost a fashion statement. And then as they had become more common, it had been seen as something gauche, tasteless... something reserved only for the lower classes to stare at, and the middle classes to sneak looks at when no one was paying too much attention.

"Fine. Let's assume they are real, all of them. What was your favourite?"

Doug wished he could just let the conversation wash over him. But he always heard language - always felt it, in a way that he couldn't ignore even if he wanted to. Someone talking would catch his attention, even if it was a language he had never heard before, and it always seemed to make sense. 

He tried to plan out his escape that evening. He would focus on that, on doing something good. He knew if he got caught he would be in trouble. But he was going to try, and he was going to succeed - he'd promised Warlock that he would.

***

In the end, slipping away hadn't been anywhere near as difficult as he had expected. He wasn't caught as he clambered out of the window of his small bedroom dressed in dark clothes, or as he rushed across the lawns. It was easy to find a gap in the hedges that the boys in the year above used to sneak out to meet with their female companions and the like. Then it was simply a case of retracing his steps from earlier in the day, hurrying towards the field where the circus had been set up.

The air was cold, and he regretted not putting on a coat, and he wasn't at all sure that this was a good plan. But he approached the cluster of trailers and cages that outlined the freakshow. Somewhere in there, Warlock was waiting.

"What is selfriend looking for?" The voice from beneath him made him jump, and he looked down towards the grass.

"Warlock?" the word escaped him as a hiss. The grass wiggled in the moonlight, solidifying into something that looked almost like it could be a person.

"Query: Has selfriend leaking stopped?"

"Yeah," Doug took a deep breath. "Leaking stopped."

"Selfriend is showing elevated heart rate and respiratory actions..."

"I'm fine." Doug muttered. "Just fine, just... just a bit startled." He frowned at the outline of Warlock, which seemed to constantly shift. "You were in a cage."

"Self left cage to help selfriend. Self compressed into a wire of an inch diameter and slipped self between the bars of cage."

"Oh..." Looking now at the grass without Warlock lying on it, he could see it had taken on a silver tinge that caught his attention. "Did you eat that?"

"Self needed fuel to help selfriend Doug." Warlock answered. "Self wants to assist selfriend Doug. Query: What can self do?"

"You... you're doing great. You did great. Come on, let's get you out of here," Doug muttered, reaching out for Warlock and then snatching his hand back as though faced with a flame. "You aren't going to eat me, right?"

"Selfriend Doug is selfriend not fuel."

"Uh. Thanks, buddy..." Doug muttered to himself, staring at the being in front of him. Warlock. He looked strange up close, shifting, unusual even among mutants. But he was alone, and afraid, and he'd been hungry. He'd looked to Doug for help. 

"Query: What is selfriend Doug's plan?"

"I wish I knew..." Doug answered, swallowing slightly, half expecting at any moment to be caught by the people in the circus and to be in trouble for stealing one of the exhibits. "You should come back with me. You can hide under my bed, and then we can... we can work out what you can do. Where you can go. Do you have any family? I can help you get back to them."

"Self has a father. Selfather tried to kill self. Self was afraid."

"Well gee, no wonder..." Doug stared as Warlock seemed to retreat into a ball, eyes shrinking and body hunching over. "You can stay with me, alright, Warlock?"

"Selfriend Doug likes self?"

Doug nodded, leaning in to awkwardly pat at Warlock's... Doug thought it was possibly a shoulder, or at least had been one at one point. "I like you. Come on, let's get back before I'm missed. You need to be quiet, alright?"

Obediently, Warlock's mouth disappeared. Doug hesitated for a moment, and then shrugged and gestured for Warlock to follow. Warlock did follow, although the exact method of locomotion was not one Doug had ever seen before.

"I hope you're able to climb..." Doug whispered as they approached the school. "My window is that one, so we have to scramble up this tree and jump-"

Warlock turned into a ladder.

"I suppose that would work as well. Thank you," Doug awkwardly patted his hand over the ladder's rung, startling when an eye emerged, and then began to climb up. "Sorry if this hurts you?"

"Self is helping selfriend Doug." Warlock announced proudly.

"You are, thank you..." Doug reached his window without incident, climbed in, and then pulled at the ladder, trying to lift Warlock up. Warlock seemed to condense upwards, flowing into the room and forming a puddle on the floor, sending out a curious eyestalk. Doug was aware he should probably feel uncomfortable or unnerved by Warlock's actions, but instead he felt a great deal of fondness for the strange mutant. He closed the window, then turned to Warlock. "All good?"

"Self is good. Query: Selfriend Doug is happy?"

"I'm happy." Doug promised, crouching down to pat Warlock. "You... you'd best hide under my bed, in case anyone comes in." He ushered the puddle of Warlock under the bedframe. "Here... you can have my blanket?"

"Self is fine. Self is quite comfortable here. Selfriend Doug should have the blanket."

"Thank you," Doug mumbled, going through the process of getting ready for sleep, pulling on his pyjamas, and getting onto the bed. "Goodnight, Warlock."

"Goodnight, selfriend Doug." Warlock called from beneath him, and Doug smiled to himself as he curled beneath his blanket. He could hear the wind howling outside. He was glad that Warlock wasn't still in that cage. Doug felt tired, and he was afraid that he would be caught, but he had got Warlock to safety.

He tried to sleep, but he couldn't help thinking of the other mutants in cages at that circus. He was aware that they must have been cold on a night like this. It wasn't right, what was happening. He wondered if he could do something to help. There had to be something. 

Those thoughts buzzing in his head, he tried to sleep.

***

Selfrienddoug is shivering on bed. It appears temperature is too low. Commencing problem solving.

Iteration One: Fold blanket across selfrienddoug. Initial results promising. However, feet are exposed. Shivering continued.

Iteration Two: Blanket pulled down to cover feet. However, shoulders are exposed. Shivering continued.

Iteration Three: Blanket pulled up to cover shoulders. However, feet are exposed. Shivering continued.

Iterations Four-Seven: See Iterations Two and Three

Iteration Eight: Self has become blanket for selfrienddoug. Shivering has ceased. Problem solved.

***

Doug was vaguely aware of a movement in the bed beside him, Warlock sliding in, pouring himself up into the bed and resting over him. He could feel the solid weight of him, a comfort from the cold of the room, and it helped him to sleep.

He woke at the sound of knocking on his door the following morning, and wriggled out from beneath the thin layer of Warlock that had covered him. 

"Hide."

Warlock thankfully just slipped down under the bed, just as the door burst open and John walked inside. 

"Morning Douggy"

"Doug." Doug corrected, his heart racing at the thought of Warlock's hiding place being discovered. "Morning, John."

"You heard the news?"

"I have only just woken up." Doug answered, wondering if the news would be connected to the figure hidden under his bed. He glanced down, and spotted a thin black string creeping its way across the floor. He tried to nudge it back under with his toe, without hurting Warlock. After a moment it seemed to get the hint, retreating to safety.

"Apparently last night something happened at that circus," John answered, sitting down on Doug's bed as he tried to make it. "They say the mutants escaped, and they found some of the humans torn apart, clawed open..."

"Oh?" Doug gave up making his bed, and started to get dressed for the day. "That's strange." Warlock didn’t have claws. Warlock had escaped and gone to find him.

"Yes, it is." John looked at him. "See, Bobby and I went to look for you yesterday evening. Bobby wanted me to apologise for abandoning you when we went out. And you weren't in your room, and your window was open."

Doug took a deep breath to try not to be sick. "You... really think that I would do that? Go back to the circus and... kill people?"

"You seemed to be pretty happy with that freak. You were cooing at it." John said, then snorted and shook his head. "I didn't think so, but Bobby was concerned."

"I promise, I didn't go back to the circus last night..." Doug tried for a lie and managed a weak smile. "There was a moth in here. I didn't... I wanted to get it out, but it kept fluttering. So I left the window open and headed to the library."

"Such a bookworm." John scoffed, but he left.

As soon as John had closed the door, a couple of eyestalks peered out from under the bed. "Query: Is selfriend Doug safe?"

"I'm safe. I'll be back in a minute, I just need to use the washroom and get cleaned up, and then I'll be back. Stay here, please, I don't know what would happen if they found out you were here, and I don't want you to be sent back to another place like that." 

"Self will stay." Warlock retreated back under the bed, as Doug closed the door, feeling almost dizzy with relief. They'd got out. They'd gone to safety. He didn't need to worry about those other prisoners. He washed, and headed back to his room, to find Warlock curled up - or puddled, perhaps - beside the window.

"I wondered what kind of thing you'd eat. I'll bring you some, after class?"

"Selfriend Doug is good." Warlock shifted into a more-human form, approaching and wrapping his arms around Doug, before they flowed together into a solid circular embrace. "Self will wait here for selfriend Doug's return."

"Thanks," Doug smiled. "Would plants work, or..."

"Plants are good fuel for self. Are they good for selfriend Doug? Self wants selfriend Doug happy."

"I'm happy. There's enough food here, I'll bring you something, I promise."

Warlock's arms melted away from around his waist, and Doug stepped away with a smile, grabbing his books and hurrying off to class.

**Now**

Douglas woke to the familiar sensation of Warlock nuzzling into his side, a layer of him resting against him at night to stop him being cold. He knew that a lot of people would have been uncomfortable waking to this, but to him it felt like home, wrapped in the embrace of his selfsoulfriend. He yawned, wriggling out from beneath Warlock. Warlock whined, turning into an inky mess on the bedsheet. 

“Come on, we need to get up,” Doug coaxed. Warlock shrunk into a smaller puddle.

“I’ll get dressed, then you need to get up.” Doug insisted, trying to ignore the way Warlock was carefully pulling a blanket over himself until only a few tendrils remained exposed. He dressed himself, and then sat on the bed, tugging at the blanket. “Come on. Up.”

A small eyestalk peered out from beneath the blanket, then rapidly retreated again. 

Doug tried to hide his smile, but he was sure Warlock had seen it. In the past four years, Warlock had become far better at reading him, and Doug had become better at reading Warlock. There were times when it felt less like Warlock was his companion, and more that he was a part of him. Early mornings, however, were not one of those times. Warlock was many things, as Doug had learned, but he was determinedly not a morning person.

“Come on, Warlock.” Doug succeeded in peeling away the blankets, and was faced with an inky mass of darkness. Warlock had his eyes firmly closed. Doug reached in and poked him.

“Legs. You know what legs are.”

Warlock waved some small tendrils up in the air ineffectually, and Doug rolled his eyes and turned his back on him, going over to the door. “Fair enough, you win. You can stay in bed today, and I’ll go and investigate this circus by myself. If I don’t come home-”

Doug’s words were cut short by Warlock wrapping around him in an embrace, nuzzling his face into Doug's shoulder, sending a shiver through him. "Self accompanies selfsoulfriend Doug."

"I know you do," Doug answered, shaking his head fondly. "I didn't think you wanted to get out of bed."

"Bed is inferior without selfsoulfriend Doug." Warlock answered, embracing him for another moment, before he flowed across Doug's body like armour, supporting his own weight, slipping easily beneath Doug's coat and over the rest of his clothing, so that Doug could easily transport him. It was a strange kind of embrace, but one that meant Doug didn't feel so defenceless. 

He was still studying at university, immersing himself in ancient texts. He longed to continue with that for the rest of his life, translating between Latin and Greek and Sumerian, but he knew that doing so would disappoint his family - that they expected him to instead pursue a career in law, like his father, or else diplomacy. Of the two options, diplomacy seemed better, as it at least allowed him to pursue his love of languages. 

Warlock had accompanied him to university, and they spent many hours wandering the street like this, Warlock hidden and Doug protected. It was that companionship that gave Doug the strength to investigate any suspicious reports of abused mutants - Warlock was skilled at slipping away to rescue them, and Doug would do the research about any potential problems. He'd found a friend in an alumni of his college, Lord Xavier, who had a sister who was a mutant and was eager to help ferry away any mutants who had nowhere else to go. 

The three of them made a good team, Doug thought. He certainly found it easier to sleep knowing that he'd saved the lives of some mutants, and his skill with languages helped him to calm those who were frightened and didn't speak English.

The circus he was investigating today filled him with fear though, because all of the research he had found implied it was a continuation of the one that had once held Warlock prisoner. He reached to rub his hand across his arm, where Warlock was hiding against him. "We don't have to do this."

Warlock's embrace tightened for a moment, and Doug knew that was Warlock telling him that they could do it together. He smiled, and nodded softly, patting his hand down his arm once more, and then striding forwards. He wasn't alone - was never alone with Warlock, and that helped him to stay calm as he approached.

He was halfway across the field when a man that looked like a devil appeared before him, glaring. "Show is not until later."

"I..." Doug frowned slightly, surprised to see the man walking around freely. He glanced past - and could see a few others who looked strange wandering about, none caged or bound. Another man noticed him and started forwards, his red coat flaring out behind him, and after a moment he was joined by a man covered in blue fur, and Doug tried to stay calm. He was trying to help, but that didn't mean these men would listen. 

He was wondering about backing off when Warlock surged forwards, towards the approaching men, and Doug knew he couldn't run and abandon him. He raised his hands, trying to remember what John had told him about throwing a punch if he needed to.

The man in red paused, glancing between them, and then grinned. "Scribble?"

"Selfriendwolverineprisoner?" Warlock asked, moving forwards for an embrace. "Self has not seen you for a long time. Self thought that selfriend had forgotten him."

"Couldn't forget you, Scribble." The man laughed. "Logan now. I run this place, it's been long time." He paused. "Who's yer friend?"

"This is selfsoulfriend Doug." Warlock answered, and Doug felt his face heat up. The man just shrugged, and held out his hand.

"Soulfriend, huh?" The man - Logan - looked between them and whistled. "You find yourself someone adventurous?"

"Selfsoulfriend Doug is very brave. Saved self. Rescues numerous other mutants."

"I see." Logan looked between them, frowning. "Yer know, I'm almost tempted to ask how the two of you... but I ain't gonna. There's some stuff a man's happier not knowin'."

Doug stood there, and wondered whether it would be possible to die of embarrassment. He hoped that if it was, it would be a quick death, compared to the slow agony of listening to Warlock attempting to explain their relationship to a stranger who clearly disapproved. After a few moments, Logan seemed to decide he'd suffered enough. 

"You rescue other mutants, huh bub?"

"We do. Mostly Warlock, honestly. But I help calm them down..."

"That why you're here today?"

Warlock nodded, stepping back towards Doug, reaching for his hand and flowing a little so that their fingers were meshed together.

"That's good of you kid. You're welcome to look round, you and Scribble both. We ain't got anything we're hiding, not like that. This is a good place. Where do those you rescue end up?"

"I help them reach Lord Xavier, and he finds places for them."

Logan nodded, as though this was something he'd heard before. "Well, they're lucky to get you. Come on, take a look round... I don't suppose you'd be interested in joining up, would you Scribble?"

Warlock frowned, tendrils drooping as he looked at Doug.

"Self would like to go home."

Doug nodded slowly, feeling his heart split apart in his chest. This was where Warlock had been for a long time before he found him. This was Warlock's family, the friends he'd known for years. Doug couldn't compete with that, even though he desperately wanted to. "I want whatever makes you happy, 'lock."

"Selfsoulfriend Doug makes self happy," Warlock chirruped, wrapping him in an embrace. "What is wrong?"

"You want to..stay?"

"Self wishes to remain with Selfsoulfriend Doug." Warlock brushed a strand of hair from his eyes with a smile, before he pulled away. "Self can look around selfriendlogan's circus. But self will return."

"I thought you wanted to go home, you ridiculous inkblot." Doug muttered, as Warlock attempted to walk away whilst remaining entwined with Doug.

"Self wishes to return home, always. Selfsoulfriend Doug is home."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you! I will soon work on the actual main story in this universe, but I found out about these two sweethearts, and wanted to show their story.


End file.
